CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES ARE PERFECT
WHAT! not really. It’s easy to fall for this trap of thinking that you and your spouse are perfect and are capable of NOT making any human errors. Keep in mind that Christian couples are NOT perfect by any means. They’re made of flesh and blood like everyone else – they’ll be making mistakes and will definitely need help when that happens. Communication problems are as old as Adam and Eve.
If you want to have a happy Christian marriage, you have to shun these misconceptions and be armed with the truth. "The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes". (Amy Grant)
Far too many marriages fail, and, according to most statistics, Christian unions fare little better than average. Adding God to husband and wife does make the foundation for a strong marriage, but the process is not as simple as adding water to sand and cement to make concrete.
What are God's goals for marriage?
The Bible is the best marriage manual that you will ever read. It is our instruction that God established for us to draw on His resources, and build a solid family and live in harmony with each other.
Individuals often enter into matrimony by focusing on what they get from their partner instead of what they can give to their partner. Marriages built upon the foundation of selfishness are never happy, and statistics verify the fact that they are seldom lasting. As a general rule, we will get from our partner, that which we put into them.
Real success in marriage is achieved through giving. An individual sense of fulfillment is gained in marriage when each partner consummates the union by losing him or herself in satisfying the other. Paul gave some great advice on getting along with others (Philippians 2:3), “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than him or herself.”
It has been said, “With marriage inevitably comes pain". It’s part of the package. And, whenever we are hurt, we usually see ourselves as innocent victims. Someone has done us an injustice, and now we’re left to pick up the pieces. While it’s true we may be victims, we are not helpless victims. We can choose how we’ll respond. We can either choose to be angry and resentful, or we can choose to rise above the negativity, forgive whoever has hurt us and move on. There is no difficulty that enough LOVE will not conquer, no door that enough LOVE will not open, no sin that enough LOVE will not redeem. It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of LOVE will dissolve it all.
The marriage relationship is like a bank in which we deposit ourselves and receive benefits from the investment. The stronger we make our partner, the stronger we become; the more we respect our partner, the more respect we receive from our partner; if we make our partner happy, we are made happy by our partner; the more fulfilled we make our partner, the more fulfilled we are through our partner, the more we love our partner; the more our partner loves us (Ephesians 5:22-32; 1 Peter 3:1-7).
If you’re trying to attain a state of sinless perfection, you’re doomed to disappointment. You’ll never make it! Not even the apostle Paul counted himself to have attained perfection (Philippians 3:12). He kept making mistakes.
"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards".(Benjamin Franklin).