state: so that he was careful for nothing and feared nothing, desiring
but one only thing of GOD, viz., that he might not offend Him.
That he had no scruples; for, said he, when I fail in my duty, I
readily acknowledge it, saying, I am used to do so: I shall never do
otherwise, if I am left to myself. If I fail not, then I give GOD
thanks, acknowledging that it comes from Him.
THIRD CONVERSATION
Faith working by love. þ Outward business no detriment. þ Perfect
resignation the sure way.
He told me, that the foundation of the spiritual life in him had been a
high notion and esteem of GOD in faith; which when he had once well
conceived, he had no other care at first, but faithfully to reject every
other thought, that he might perform all his actions for the love of
GOD. That when sometimes he had not thought of GOD for a good while, he
did not disquiet himself for it; but after having acknowledged his
wretchedness to GOD, he returned to Him with so much the greater trust
in Him, by how much he found himself more wretched to have forgot Him.
That the trust we put in GOD honours Him much, and draws down great
graces.
That it was impossible, not only that GOD should deceive, but also that
He should long let a soul suffer which is perfectly resigned to Him, and
resolved to endure everything for His sake.
That he had so often experienced the ready succours of Divine Grace upon
all occasions, that from the same experience, when he had business to
do, he did not think of it beforehand; but when it was time to do it,
he found in GOD, as in a clear mirror, all that was fit for him to do.
That of late he had acted thus, without anticipating care; but before
the experience above mentioned, he had used it in his affairs.
When outward business diverted him a little from the thought of GOD, a
fresh remembrance coming from GOD invested his soul, and so inflamed and
transported him that it was difficult for him to contain himself.
That he was more united to GOD in his outward employments, than when he
left them for devotion in retirement.
That he expected hereafter some great pain of body or mind; that the
worst that could happen to him was, to lose that sense of GOD, which he
had enjoyed so long; but that the goodness of GOD assured him He would
not forsake him utterly, and that He would give him strength to bear
whatever evil He permitted to happen to him; and therefore that he
feared nothing, and had no occasion to consult with anybody about his
state. That when he had attempted to do it, he had always come away
more perplexed; and that as he was conscious of his readiness to lay
down his life for the love of GOD, he had no apprehension of danger.
That perfect resignation to GOD was a sure way to heaven, a way in which
we had always sufficient light for our conduct.
That in the beginning of the spiritual life, we ought to be faithful in
doing our duty and denying ourselves; but after that unspeakable
pleasures followed: that in difficulties we need only have recourse to
JESUS CHRIST, and beg His grace, with which everything became easy.
That many do not advance in the Christian progress, because they stick
in penances, and particular exercises, while they neglect the love of
GOD, which is the end. That this appeared plainly by their works, and
was the reason why we see so little solid virtue.
That there needed neither art nor science for going to GOD, but only a
heart resolutely determined to apply itself to nothing but Him, or for
His sake, and to love Him only.
FOURTH CONVERSATION
The manner of going to God. þ Hearty renunciation. þ Prayer and praise
prevent discouragement. þ Sanctification in common business. þ Prayer
and the presence of God. þ The whole substance of religion. þ
Self-estimation þ Further personal experience.
He discoursed with me very frequently, and with great openness of heart,
concerning his manner of going to GOD, whereof some part is related